My Secret Story...

Well, next week is trials and I have not been studying for almost 2 days. So, I decided to make this post as short as possible before the guiltiness for not studying overwhelming... >.< Hmmm, how to start eh.... Yesterday was very well-spent and memorable... Those phone calls, texts and birthday wishes were so heart-warming... =) Congrats to Wei Yi and Emily who be the first who wished me on fb and phone! <3 Haha  And what made my day more well-spent is because I woke up at 8.30 am by myself without alarm and parents' calling... =D Had been adding lots of weight because I had good food for the whole day... =P I spent my morning and evening with my family. We went 真之味 in Usj to have dim sum for breakfast, the food quality is getting a bit not satisfying, but it was still acceptable because IT'S DIM SUM!!! haha..  Then, we went to gai gai for a few hours and had late lunch at Sakae Sushi in Subang Parade. I had been craving this for almost a whole mo...

结果, 他在我意想不到的这一天离开了, 对吧? 我以为, 我已经做好心里准备了...  可是, 我才发现, 原来, 就算心不会觉得痛, 就算我努力地抬起头.... 也都没有用.... 我只能躲在安静的角落, 不让人发现我的脆弱... 会不会, 如果不是今天, 我就没那么难过了... 会不会, 我不去想, 就不会这样了....  可是怎么办? 我只要一想起, 眼角就湿了... 是因为不舍得吗? 还是因为我连最后说再见的机会也没有? 我真的, 没办法, 好好说再见....  那背影, 终究离开了...  我也只能, 默默地, 祝他一路顺风...

前几天, 我在报纸上看见了一个很熟悉的名字... 突然有种感慨的心情, 也有种庆幸的感觉... 因为我还能在偶然的情况下, 得知了你的消息... 就算只有名字和成绩, 也就足以让我悸动.... 如果有一天, 你的名字, 就像这张照片一样, 在我的记忆里, 变得模糊.... 我会不会, 就不再像现在一样了... 即使现在舍不得, 以后还是会慢慢忘掉的, 对吧? 就像你不曾想起我一样, 那该有多好... 可是怎么办, 我看见你的名字, 有关于你的一切, 我所有的防备, 都彻底被击垮了... 请原谅固执的我, 到现在, 还是不能放手... 就让记忆中的你, 随着时间慢慢模糊好了...

期待小一点, 惊喜就大一点... 难过少一点, 开心就多一点... 放下心多一点, 心痛就少一点.. 想得少一点点, 烦恼也少一点点...  专心多一点点, 得到的就多一点点... 不把自己想得太重要, 或许就不怕一个人了...  就让那些一点一点的, 把心填满吧.... p.s  我完全不知道自己到底在想些什么....

Well, there's no where or no one I can express my feelings about this now, as there's no privacy and I might indirectly "hurt" someone's feeling if I say so, but I don't want to care anymore.... This is my place, so I say it here lorh.... I got my Muet results two days ago, I was so anxious when I texted the message to check my result, my fingers crossed so tight because I was nervous... And guess what? I got Band 5 for my Muet!!!!! I thought I was dreaming, I thought they scammed me, I even checked twice to confirm my result... It was totally beyond my expectation! I won't deny that I was excited and shouted when I read through the message... Haha I know it might be kinda shocking when my friends know about this, especially those who their English standard is way more better than mine, as English is their first language... Or maybe my Muet teachers and other subjects teacher, they might be expecting others to get a band 5 instead of me getting it... W...

Well, Nothing much, Can't help it. I'm becoming emotional for no reason these days. And I'm emo about getting emo without reason.. Oh my, that's why they say emo people shouldn't listen to emo songs, it might be one of the reason why I become like that. I couldn't hide my emotional face, I had tried my best... Don't ask me why, when I don't even know why... I could just cry anytime when I hear those sad songs... Something must have gone wrong with my nerves... =/ Can anyone just tell me a joke and make me laugh?

Jeannayyyyy! Well, I didn't really dedicate a post for you before because I think you don't know that this blog actually exists... But this time, whether you manage to see this or not... I want to say goodbye to you! =) Glad that I remember to message and ask you about your further plans, almost miss the chance to farewell you lehhh... (I know I'm cheong hei, haha) And you are leaving so SOON, like very SOON... on Monday morning man! Had a great morning with you yesterday, although it's just a small and short farewell breakfast... I know you have lots of plans and lots of things to prepare, so I was pretty excited that you managed to spare some time to meet up with us! :') Last picture with you before you leave to UK... You look awesome with your hair colour! =] I'm so gonna miss you leh.... You are so cute, funny, cheerful and considerate when it comes to my super duper suck english... You always cheer the people around you with the way you speak...

Well, I'm not talking about chem this time, is about my heart! Haha Why low melting point? Because I get melted easily lorh... XD  Or in other word, I get touched easily...  I notice that I'm likely to get melted anytime...  just for a word, a sentence, an eye contact, a very tiny matter or maybe a little surprise... Soft-hearted eh? LOL I'll remember every moment if you touch my heart.. even though if you forget it one day...So, don't play play ah...  But I don't usually show it up, haha, so people will never know how easily to turn me into water... What talking me...  Not to forget the other type of melting... like when I see this...  Big Hug teddy... Straight away melted before I reach the melting point... haha Love that place because teddy is everywhere!! =D  I just couldn't resist cute stuffs...  They are too adorable to be adorable! Especially the videos about the babies, baby Yerin is one of them... <3...

每一年的九月, 都是会让我感受到一点点幸福的气氛, 也对它有些小小的期待, 希望它能带给我惊喜... 理由很简单, 就是那么简单... 就像享有着四季变迁的国度, 现在应该刚刚入秋吧... 而我其实蛮喜欢秋天的, 虽然没有亲身体验过, 但是从韩剧里看见的场景, 总是觉得秋天很美, 很浪漫... 天气凉凉的, 会让人觉得很舒服吧.... 可是, 今年的九月, 却似乎带着淡淡的忧伤... 是离别的忧伤... 也像秋天时, 枯黄了的叶子慢慢从树枝上坠落, 凋零.... 风中也会飘来一阵阵的咸, 是雨的味道... 虽然很美, 却也让人惆怅... 那种心情, 很复杂, 真的很复杂... 会觉得幸福, 就像我说的, 因为有着幸福的期待... 所以它的到来, 总是会让我藏不住喜悦, 我是承认的... 每天每天, 都会有让我快乐起来的理由... 可是, 因为是九月, 所以它的到来, 也提醒着我, 一年的时间已经过了大半, 还剩下三个月的时间, 又是要离别的时刻了... 而更揪心的, 是一直在心里的某个人, 要离开了.... 一直以来, 我骗得别人, 却骗不了自己... 我依然还停留在原地, 没有离开过... 也在这一直以来, 虽然彼此没有交集, 但只要知道对方还在附近, 还能够偶尔得知他的消息, 心里还是觉得踏实的... 不过, 也因为彼此的世界距离越来越远, 心里还是会觉得酸酸的... 更何况说, 他要离开了... 到离我很远很远的地方... 我从来都不敢想象, 因为光是用想的, 眼睛就湿了... 他明明就已经离开了我的世界, 想起他的次数也不像以前那么多了.... 或许那已经成为了习惯吧... 就像在心里很久了, 一时要搬出来, 也不知要搬到什么时候.... 即使曾经被动摇过, 我还是没办法把位子空出来... 我知道我没办法多说些什么, 多做些什么... 就像我从来没有好好呼唤过他的名字, 把我心里一直没说的话告诉他.... 现在更没有机会了, 我就连说一声再见的勇气, 亲口说一定要幸福的机会也没有... 更别说是目送着他的背影离开... 我知道, 当他离开的时候, 就是我应该彻底死心的时候... 我能办到吗? 现在的我, 还是不行吧.... 慧慧的心, 对自己好一点, 可以吗?