My Secret Story...

Tick tock tick tock.. Time flies~~~~~ Today is the last day of 2012 already! =) 2012, what a Challenging and Remarkable Year.  Made important decisions, faced obstacles, picked up new skills, dealt with emotional dependency and met new friends.  I had thought a lot this year and had many emotional moments when I was alone...  It was not easy to me, when I decided to take STPM. I had to start everything again from the beginning. Close friends were studying at different places, the one person that I cared the most was not there, that school was a strange place to me, the people there were new faces to me (except for some). I thought I was going to be a loner there, but things got different... I'm still the same old me, talkative plus sampat, it's just that I still keep some of the feelings to myself. My classmates are really awesome! They made me laugh everyday and I really love spending time with them. I feel comfortable and happy when I see them, ...

Hmm, can't think of a title today, make it as a random post then! =) Went out with pre-u friends yesterday, Ying Sun was the one who asked us out this time! She is the Boss! Haha... Imagine how excited "we" were... Ehem* =P It was great to see them again, at least I wasn't that emo and the weather was nice yesterday! =) We watched CZ12, Jackie Chan's movie. Love the story and the actions done by Jackie and the team, at least the scenes amused me and I laughed a lot... You know I'm craving for laughter right? LOL  Jackie's wife, Shu Qi and Daniel Wu were the cameos in the movie too! That surprised me by a little.. hehe Saw Lee Hom on the screen before we left the cinema! =D Then, we went to Sushi Zanmai for.... teatime? haha Since I had Choco Banana Pancake for lunch in the cinema. XD Had Spicy Ramen and someone treated me sashimi.. Lol But to be honest, I prefer Sakae Sushi... That's all... :3  After that, we walked around pyramid for hours and...

Jingle bells, Jingle bells, jingle all the way~~~ =D Had a very special Christmas morning today! Well, I didn't really celebrate Christmas for the past 17 years... but I did enjoyed seeing those decorations(especially Christmas Tree) everywhere during the season! =)  Woke up early in the morning, followed my mum with her friends to the Lovely Disabled Home to visit the disables... or maybe I should say the "special" ones! =) They were having a Christmas party there.. They were sitting around and having some group activities...  They caroled, danced and played games together... =) Not forget to mention, they danced gangnam style too...XD Then, it was gift-giving time! Before that, I heard that the disables actually wrote what they wished to have for christmas in a wishlist... And guess what, their dreams came true! =) The volunteers bought the presents that the disables wished for. The presents were neither luxurious stuffs, nor IT products like we norm...

Have been thinking a lot these few days, Emo to the Maxxxxxx.... Well, I always become emotional for the same reason.. The same old reason that can brighten my day or sometimes put me into the feeling of depression again and again... Haih.. Hmmm, maybe it's because I'm a typical Libra I guess?? Getting emo easily is one of the main characteristics! LOL Used to envy other people who always have their best friends as company wherever they go and take tons of pictures together, while for me, that's not an easy thing because my friends and I were drifted apart and we could hardly spend time together. What a Bad Habit! Used to stalk other people's love stories, sometimes they tell me theirs by themselves.. LOL Knowing too much needs more brain juice to keep secret... Bad Habit! Used to read other people's mind from their expressions and sometimes using my "sixth sense". My 'sixth sense" kinda accurate though(for other people), no kidding,  it's...

看我的开头, 应该就知道我的想法到底有多复杂了吧? Haih.... 最近想了很多很多事, 也想起很多很多人... 还发了很多奇怪的梦 (梦到炎亚纶对我好耶!), 所以我才说我真的想太多咯... 不只是这样, 空闲的时间太多, 心情也变得很情绪化, 有时侯想着想着, 还会哭出来...我其实很不喜欢那样的自己耶... 我承认, 一直到现在, 我还是活在回忆里面, 一直陷在那里, 不想面对现实, 认为以前的时光是最美好的. 可是怎么办呢? 回忆, 是有让人觉得很怀念的时候, 但有时,也有令人难过心痛的时候... 想起自己做过的傻事, 真的可以就这样找个洞钻进去算了... 总是觉得现在的自己很孤独, 总是觉得身边的人很难留住, 毕竟人是会变的, 包括我自己也一样. 或许是我自己太没有安全感吧, 所以没有自信能留住些什么. 现实是很残忍的, 我曾经单纯地以为, 只要我没变, 大家也应该会一样吧. 可是, 事实上, 大家都变了, 长大了, 成熟了, 想法不同了, 遇见的人也不一样了, 都不可能回到从前了, 连我也是这样啊...所有的回忆都成为过去了... 因为知道这个事实, 所以一直很怕, 真的很怕, 好朋友会变成陌生人; 也很怕自己会忘记过去曾经那么在乎的人... 不是我对友谊没信心, 而是我觉得没有安全感而已...总觉得自己好像没有办法在别人心中留下特别的位子...即使他们对我来说都很重要.... 有时侯, 我也会想, 是不是自己太固执了呢? 如果, 我的心, 像握紧的拳头一样慢慢张开, 不要再留恋过去, 好好把握现在身边的一切, 或许我就不会像现在一样那么失落吧... 然后, 慢慢地, 把那曾经让我心动, 也让我心痛的原因给忘掉, 或许, 我的心也会慢慢敞开吧... 算了吧, 我又开始想太多了... 看来我真的很缺乏安全感吧... >.< 最近领悟到的一件事: 这世界唯一永远不变的定律, 就是世界会不停地在改变... 看来我是时候要改变了... =)

奇迹出现了... 不管怎样, 我还是相信当初的感情还是一样的... 就算再怎么变, 总会有些事情是不会变的... 就像和他们的关系.... 就算再久没见面, 再次见面的时候, 还是能够找到那曾经的熟悉感吧... 6C/2006 =) 真的很想念他们... 希望下次能见到更多人吧... 一定还会有下次的吧.... =) 谢谢你,让我还能相信奇迹...

To be honest, I didn't realize that today is a special day with a special date... Until I saw lots of postSSS about 12/12/12. Trying not to follow the flow, so that I'm special enough for not noticing how important is the date of the day, which only occurs once within hundred years time...XD I don't think can see the next 121212 for the rest of my life... LOL Well, nothing special actually happen to me on this "special day". So, I just feel like posting something I guess, to make my day a little bit special. =) This gonna be an emo one... Another year passes by and every time when it comes to the month of December, I usually get emotional easily... If you know the story behind.... The 6C gathering is on this saturday, one of the events that I have been looking forward to since the day I missed the gathering last year. I've missed the gatherings for the last 2 years due to some stupid reasons. There were actually 5 gatherings since we were graduated from ...

Awww.... I miss my blog so much! It was kinda dead for almost a month. So, time to post something about what have I done for the past 4 weeks! =D Not gonna be very detailed, because I don't feel like exposing too much here.. hehe Hmm... So, lets start my post like this.... I went back to my hometown last month, just like what I did for almost every year, visited my grandma and relatives and stayed at my sister and uncle's house. Basically, what I did most of the time was stoning, sleeping, watching running man (so addictive) and the drama that I spent half of the year to finish it, reading( I brought my english grammar book with me just in case I'm too bored) and non-stop EATING!! How could I resist the Penang and Kedah's food temptation?? LOL I 'delayed' my burn fat plan just because of the FOOD... =P Here are some of the pictures that I took, thanks to someone, I feel like Sai Meng ing... haha My cousin sister even thought that I'm a weirdo for taking p...

Well, Kinda late to blog a post right now, but I just want to update my wall since I think I won't be blogging for the next two weeks, which it will be December after that. Just checked back my older posts and found the post about my resolutions for this year.. And as conclusion, I did accomplished some out of the 10 options.. XD 1. Get my "P" license- The very Big Accomplishment of mine... I got my license during the 6 months of long long holiday, after failing twice... =P 2. Improve my english standard- Apparently, I don't think so since I screwed up my speaking and writing test.... but at least I could write a long blog post right?? LOL 3. Be Brave on making decisions- Well, I ended up by studying form 6, and I have 1 more year to think about my future...Is that the right thing? :/ 4. Decide the course that I Really want after taking my SPM result- I chose to study bio (science stream) and I'm sure I will never take bio as my course for my degree... Grea...

Finally!! The First STPM exam is OVERRRR! and of course The first semester is officially ended too! =D I was determined enough not to online for almost a whole week, so that I could concentrate on my studies. I slept for like only 4 hours per day during the 4 days of exams you know! I even looked more panda than a Panda, if you get what I mean... LOL PA was hard like !@#$%, Maths was quite okay, Biology was better than I thought, and I can just cry for my Chemistry because I screwed it up... I supposed to be very excited after exam but it just spoiled my mood! Haih, better don't think that much about the papers and just hope for the best for my results! Fingers crossed! =) Anyway, here comes my HOLIDAY!!!! =D My holiday is officially started yesterday evening... =) I actually went out with my friends and had steamboat as my dinner and Supper at the Fat One Steamboat. I tumpang Hao hong's car, Eng Hong and Cuthbert were there too. We went pyramid first because the driver sa...

This gonna be a short post about the Pre- U Gala Night yesterday! =) Well, as I said earlier, I attended the Gala Night held in my school yesterday. At first, I actually refused to take part in this thingy because I thought this function would be boring since it is held in my school... (if you know what I was complaining last time... lol) The teacher even offered me to tumpang her car and dumped me by the roadside... >.< But then, I decided to attend just because my friends are performing that night!! =) What a good friend am I right?? Just Agree! haha And I "persuaded" others to go too! =D And guess what, the Theme of the gala is Cowboy and Portuguese Style and checkered shirt with jeans is the best option for the theme. And guess what again, I have many many Checkered shirts!! hahaha My friends even teased me for that... >< I had to find the shirt that none of the friends of mine have ever seen before...lol Back to the day of gala, I followed Yen Cheing...

Few days ago, Syuen asked me a question which had made me thought about a lot of things. She asked me whether I prefer my secondary school's life or the form 6 life now... Well, to be honest, I actually hesitated, I don't know why. I answered that I love my secondary's life wayyyy more than now (because my best friends and he were there), but Syuen just came up with her opinion that I seemed to love and enjoy my life right now and I look happy everyday in school. I was like: Really?? o.O Not that I hate my life now (few months ago, Yes), is just that I don't think I'm that "happy" which I seemed to be. I used to feel lonely in a way, since I started my form 6 life. Best friends were studying in different colleges and we didn't spend most of the time together like we did last time. But meeting new people and friends, This is Life.... So, I tried my best to adapt to the new environment which is so not familiar to me. Time passed by, the complaints be...

要怎么开始好呢? 我迟了好多天才有时间写我想写的东西耶...不知道他会不会看到, 但是我想应该不会吧... 那种想被发现, 又害怕被人笑很傻的感觉, 只有自己才懂吧... 就当作是在听我说一个不是很有趣的故事吧... 好久好久以前, 有个小女孩一直等待着一个人, 从她认识他的第一天起... 这张照片, 是她在毕业的那天拍的;  这个背影, 是她在这几年来, 一直静静凝望着的...很好看吧? 从她认识他的第一天起, 她的心里就一直住着同样的一个人, 住了好久好久, 也从来没被动摇过.. 她从一开始傻傻地去注意一个人, 到她学会怎么去喜欢一 个人, 学会怎么去等待一个人, 也学会了不要求回报的付出...  她一直喜欢着的他, 是一个很好看, 很聪明, 很厉害的男生. 他读书很厉害, 打球很厉害, 还会弹钢琴, 几乎是一个完美的男生. 而其实这些条件, 是在她喜欢上他之后才发现的.... 她觉得他认真起来的样子很酷, 打球的样子很帅, 笑起来的样子很好看, 耍白痴的样子也很可爱....这样听起来, 很花痴对吧? 女生不都这样的吗?  曾经, 女孩以为小学毕业后, 就再也见不到他了, 却没想到原来他也读同一所中学....也因为这样, 从同班的面对面, 到后来不同班而只能静静地看着他的背影; 从一开始的熟悉, 到后来的陌生, 都让女孩觉得很无奈... 但是她还是觉得很开心, 因为她至少还能见到他, 这样就够了... 她习惯每天去学校的时候, 期待下课和放学的时间, 因为只有在那时候, 她才能见到他. 她习惯在人群中找寻他的身影, 她习惯在人群中只注意到他, 她习惯了静静地守护他的背影, 即使跟他没有任何交集也没关系... 因为只要能够见到他, 她就会觉得很幸福....她曾经有想过, 这会不会只是因为她习惯有男孩的存在, 而不是喜欢他呢? 不过, 她很快就知道答案了, 她会因为看见他出现在面前, 脸上挂着笑容而开心一整天, 也会因为他对她的无视而难过一整天...他所说的每一句话, 都会影响她的心情.. 她也很清楚地记得, 她为了他而心跳加速的声音.......她知道这些都不只是因为习惯才这样的... 她和他一直没有办法好好地做朋友, 只因为他们之间有太多误会了... 虽然他们还是有和平相...

=D Lets start my post today with a big wide smile! =D You will know why I'm so happy if you read the title of my post! =) HAHAHAH Well, this year, my birthday is on Saturday and the trial starts on monday, so I didn't really enjoy much... :/ (That why I hate trials) But anyway, I'm still in a good mood until I don't have the mood to study... LOL Yesterday was a great day, I was a bit surprised when my friends actually remembered my birthday, since yesterday is not the 'real' birthday and we are not meeting up each other on weekend.. And they even prepared presents for me... So duh Touched!!! :') Teddy with gummy from Carmen!! Love it so much!! <3  Lolipops and notebook from Ying Sun!! =D Sweet! Cookies from Syuen, Yen Cheing and Cuthbert! =D  And this is surprising, thanks a lot for the effort for lighting up the candles, Hong Brothers! =) Here's an addition, Teddy bookmark from Tze Min!! =D Teddy bear ...

我其实很容易被感动的... 我可以因为一句话, 一个动作, 一个笑容, 而感动很久很久... 我可以因为你对我的好, 感动很久很久... 即使只是小小的心意, 小小的事情, 我也会很感动的.... 也因为你记得对我来说很重要的一天, 我真的真的很高兴... 我好想再被你感动一次, 可以吗? 

Well, just a short post before my trials next week. And Yeah, next week will be my STPM trials and I'm still here blogging, =.= Urgh, I just don't have the study mood! Blame myself for online"ing so often... Please don't tell me I'm addicted... =( I just can't feel the "gan jeong"ness YET! I can't imagine what would happen to me next week... T.T There are still so many chapters left to study, Emozzz to the max... :/ Trying not to mention about my hair, but still, I know I look funny, I admit.... But this is actually how I usually looked like when I was in my secondary school, In other words, my hair was already looked "artistic" back then. T.T Maybe they just need time to get used to it. Kinda regret to have my hair cut since I spent half of the year to keep my hair to be that long, reluctant larhhh..... And I think I was scammed by the aunty... I should just have the normal cut instead of layer cut. But anyway, I love the way I look, ...

Is the mid of September already, time passes way too fast.... Just got my results for august test two weeks ago, then the trial is approaching in another two weeks time.... GREAT ENOUGH.. Actually AH, I thought this month would be a not-so-stressing month, but it seems to be the other way round... >.< And I really hate that kind of feeling! The teachers keep rushing to finish the syllabus, except for my chem teacher which there are 4 more chapters to go... T.T I'm not genius larh, How to master the 4 chapters left by my own??? Haih And why they choose the first day of october as the first day of trials?? They spoiled my plan!!!! I really don't like to study during the end of september, Seriously! So stressed somemore... Urgh.. I told myself not be depressed for this month, but too bad, they indirectly Forced me to do so... :( And the worst part, I don't have the mood to Studayyyyy.... Two weeks left and I'm still here writing a blog post... :S Oh yeah, I alm...

有个女人一直深深爱着你 那个女人认真的 深深爱着你 每天每天 就像你的影子 紧跟随着你 那个女人 笑着 却也哭泣着 究竟还要独自这样 凝望着深爱的你 到何时 这像风一般的爱情 这像是谎言的爱情 还要这样持续多久 你才能爱我 只要稍稍向着你走近 向你靠近一步 你却后退两步 这样的爱着你的我 现在就在你的身旁 那个女人哭泣着 那个女人非常地 小心谨慎的 正在学习着如何 自然的微笑 连好朋友都无法倾诉  内心压抑的话语 所以那女人的心总在哭泣着 所以 那个女人正不顾一切 深深爱着这样的你 这样的傻瓜 因为是这样的傻瓜 所以可以请你 给我一个拥抱吗 我也想要被深爱着 亲爱的 朝朝暮暮在心里 只能放在心里  这样的呼唤着你 那个女人 今天依然在你的身旁 那个女人就是我 你知道吗 还是你明明知道  却依然如此呢 真的不知道吗  你这个傻瓜 究竟还要独自凝望着你多久呢 这傻瓜般的爱情 像谎言般的爱情 还得持续多久 你才能爱我 只要稍稍走近你 只要靠近你一步 就会后退两步的你 这样的爱着你的我 现在就在你的身旁 那个女人哭泣着 那个女人- 秘密花园 就好像在诉说着我一直以来的心情....

Say Hi to the first day of September!!! =) It's not a very special day but I'm just feeling a little bit happy, at least I'm not that emo today! haha... Smile! =) (without showing teeth again, haha)  Just being a little bit random today... Should be busy with all those homework given and I think I spent a little bit too much on the net... LOL (If I can finish my essay on time)  I don't know why, I'm just looking forward to this month, although I gonna have my First Muet Presentation  and it actually means that STPM is approaching day by day... :O  Well, Maybe I should stay happy and optimistic like now throughout the month! =D Hoping for good things to happen, everything will go on smoothly and my wishes will be come true! haha Kinda greedy har? Who cares? As long as I'm happy! =)  That's all for now I guess, off to finish the homework! I need CONCENTRATION! =)

Just found that I didn't really post about my primary school life before... OMG! I love this picture so much!!!!! <3 Primary school life was the best memory I had, when I was just a little girl who think that life is always simple and free from problems. And then, I learned the way to love a person heartily from the first day of my primary school life. I learned to treat my friends with sincerity and made them as the whole part of my world besides my family. The bitter sweets during the past 6 years in primary school made me who I am now. I loved my primary classmates a lot and they are irreplaceable. I remember the moments we had together, and the moments when I was so happy for a small little stuff and cried for a tiny little matter. And of course the phrase: I don't want to friend you anymore! But we ended up being good friends till now. =) I really missed the times when all of us in our class did the same thing together, like wearing black shirts to school fo...

How to start my post today? Hmmm... Just my holiday ends and the school starts today, it doesn't sound like a big deal right? But IT DOES MATTER!!!! I didn't really enjoy my holiday, thanks to the assignments given by the teachers... T.T But, I did spent some time with my besties and classmates!! And went shopping for the whole day yesterday... lol Anyway, I hate to wake up that early in the morning, well, 8 hours of sleep is already not enough and now I have wake up at 6am... =.= It was raining heavily this morning, and I don't know why the canteen in my school is so kiam siap to keep the lights off. Thanks god I didn't bang anything like I usually do...  Oh yeah, I got some of my exam results back today...I passed my maths and biology, can't believe this is happening to me, I actually Aim for pass instead of an A, but of course I still want to get good results la! That's why I'm not that satisfied with my results! I did a lot of careless mistakes u...

Another birthday dedication post of the month!! With a weird title... LOL You will know what it means when you translate it into mandarin ( for the one I dedicated ) Happy Sweet 18!!! YAP MAY MAY!!!!!!!!! =D My funniest friend plus Pro Stalker... hehe I know you gonna read this soon! =) I chose your most leng lui picture! =D  I haven't seen you for months and I miss you A LOTTTT, who says we don't want to see your face har?? I want to see you popping in front of me! =D I was so surprised when you called me that day to ask for my opinion to go for 30 hours famine, I'm so touched because you actually thought of me that time... Awwww Is awesome to talk to you on phone, at least we still keep in touch... :') And we can relate so many topics when we chat, even oppa gangnam style... haha Well, now, you're studying in college, I wonder why every time I chat or talk to you, you are busy with you exams... lolz You smart girl lai de, don't stress yourself, you...

Looks like I was being a little bit too emo for the last post, that's why my friends are worried about me, and I feel so sorry for my beloved one. I was just quite upset for something not so important for other people.. Well, today's a very "socialized" day, sms, facebook chat and phones call. Spent too much saliva to talk until I almost get sore throat... LOL Do not think that I'm showing off or whatever OKAY!!!! I'm just trying to say that, probably I'm not alone after all, at least I'm trying to believe about that. You know what will happen when you are having ample time to do nothing? You will think A LOT! That's what happened to me. Memory flashbacks! Then emo again. Not a good thing har? I'm trying to think about all those good things, but normally it will end up with something emotional... :/  Ahhhh, so the best solution is to Sleep! Haha.. Anyway, Sweet memories are always the best treasures I have. I can smile heartily whenever I...

如果, 你能够站在我的立场, 为我想的话, 也许你就会发现, 我有多难过... 如果, 你真的站在我的角度去想, 也许你就能了解, 我真正要的是什么... 如果, 你真的为我好, 你就不会在我不知道的情况下替我做决定, 这样对我太不公平了... 如果, 你真的懂我, 就不会让我在别人面前像一个笑话一样... 我, 只是想像其他同年龄的朋友一样, 可以做自己喜欢的事情, 这样有错吗? 我并不渴望太多的自由, 我只是希望可以偶尔跟好朋友一起去玩, 不可以吗? 我不是要埋怨你, 我只是想要你知道, 就像当年没得去毕业旅行, 我只所以会觉得那么地遗憾, 是因为我真的真的很希望自己能够像其他人一样, 能够留下令人怀念的回忆... 我这样算是要求太多吗? 我已经无话可说了, 因为说再多, 你都不会站在我的角度去想的... 没有期望, 就不会失望了...

Finally finished my august test!! Kinda happy anyway, since I only slept for 4 hours during these 5 days, Imagine my BIG BIG panda eyes! O.O  I can't bear to think about my Biology and Chemistry results, I feel like crying.... I just aim for PASS now!! Fingers crossed* I got a feeling that I missed lots of stories these days since I controlled myself from surfing the net, what a Big accomplishment right? LOL That's why I said I'm sesat in the 'forest', totally lost connection with others.... XD  Anyway, I had so much Fun today! Straight away went to cheong K after school! We went to Loudspeaker, 12 person in a room, syok sendiri to the MAX! =D Well, my mum was being over-friendly as usual, and I hope she didn't scare my classmates for acting that way... haha Had lots of funny and facepalm moments because of that too.... I enjoyed spending time with my "new" friends, they never failed to make others happy, I love the way we sang together and...

Well, i don't know why I choose the "wink wink" as the title of the post, maybe I just because I want write about my best best sampat po, Wynn Wynn!! =D HAPPY SWEET 18, SIEW WEI YI!!!! =D I'm going to spam every wall of yours today!! hehe I just love this picture! <3 teehee.. Today is your BIG day, so i decided to blog about you again although it will take me some time to stop me from studying...=P HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!! This is the first time I'm not there to say it out face-to face, but anyway I bet you are enjoying your first day becoming 18!! Have Lots of Fun kay! =D  Ahh, I miss the old times we had together again, we have started our brand new journey at different places now, thanks god we managed to keep contact to each other! =) I still remember the day we hang out together for your farewell. I actually had mixed feeling on that day you know, when you decided to study far far away from KL, to my hometown Kedah to become a future doctor. When w...

被别人当成空气般的对待, 是好事吗? 听起来好像是被忽略的感觉, 可是, 如果换个角度去想的话, 其实也没那么糟吧.... 空气, 虽然无色, 无味, 也没什么存在感, 但它还是很重要啊! 没有空气是会死人的!!! 也许, 因为空气存在得太过安静, 所以人家都把它当成是一种理所当然, 却没有真正去发现它的存在. 可是, 当空气一旦消失了, 或许, 就会有人感觉得到它的重要性吧. 我, 是一个超级无敌平凡至极的女生, 不是最美的, 不是最聪明的, 不是最会说话的那个也不是最厉害的, 更加不是最有存在感那个, 但是我却是最吵, 最烦人的那个, 连我自己也觉得自己很烦人. 但是我安静的时候, 人家却会以为是我心情不好, 要我怎样嘛... 不过, 吵归吵, 我并不是最有存在感的那个, 我也不想再多做些什么去证明我的存在. 人从出生一开始, 除了家人, 自己本来就是一个人, 有朋友已经是个Bonus了, 至少我是这样安慰自己的. 所以, 我真的很感谢那些发现我的存在的人, 也很珍惜他们. 即使我到最后还是跟空气一样, 很安静, 很安静的待在那里, 也没关系了. 把我当空气吧, 就算无色, 无味, 甚至完全忘记我的存在也没关系, 只要知道我一直都在, 就可以了... =)

Well, I think something's wrong with me these days. There are 2 weeks more to go for my August test, I supposed to get nervous and start doing my revision from now on. But I don't know why, yes I'm still nervous but I didn't really take the action to study. And to be honest, I tend to online almost everyday and it's always on midnight....OH NO!! I hardly concentrate in class and now I'm so duh lazy to study.. Oh god! Wish me lots of luck for my test soon... :S FB and Twitter should be forbidden in these 2 weeks, if I'm determined enough....LOL  Seriously I need to get myself to be hardworking man!!! STPM is freaking terribly hard you know! My old way of study is actually not that helpful for this time... Do revisions with the answer in reference books, this is so not Working! I have to understand every single thing, every single word in order to apply all those things I have learnt to the exam..... For your information, I'm the SLOW type.. Again, All...

I'm not sure what happened to me. Is like I'm acting so weird recently, especially today. Either I was being too annoying or too quiet .... I admit that I was emo during the classes after recess. It's just a sudden feeling of emo, I don't feel like doing anything or even take the initiative to talk to other people, I just want to be ignored... for once. But I failed to keep myself "invisible", not that I'm always the center of attention, is like I don't want other people to find out that I'm not the "usual" me, as in the non-stop talking, annoying me. My friends asked me what happened to me, I was like, Am I that obvious?? Probably is because I sang and talked a lot before recess, that's why they felt the difference. :S I felt the difference too. And I was trying to find out the reason why I was acting that way. Wait, It should be why I'M acting that way for the whole day. Is it because of something? Or it's because of someo...

Time passes really fast har? I still remember on the same day of last year, I did the same thing like what I'm doing right now. =)  And now, things became a little bit different. This time, I can only non-stop wishing you because I can't wish you face-to-face... (Emoz) Anyway, today is my Prettiest Ji Mui's Birthday!!! The one on the left, SHE IS SO CUTE RIGHT??  HAPPY SWEET 18, EMILY!! =D Well, how should I start my post? Maybe I should start with what happened in the past 6 months then... We actually did a lot of things together right? Although we didn't really hangout a lot like last time we did in school, but we did spent some quality times together! =) We went for the driving test together, got our license together, had girls' talk at your house together, sat in your car when you were driving XD and of course a lot a lot more than I thought. I'm sorry I ffk you for not going to DTF to work, but I know you won't blame me right, you got high...

不知不觉, 半年已经过去咯....人家都已经完成第一个学期了, 而我才刚开始我的新生活而已耶... 我现在已经慢慢地在适应我学校的生活, 我没有像前两个月那样一直投诉就很好了. =) 其实, 中六的生活并没那么糟, 一切都还在可以接受的范围内, 课外活动也还好, 只是功课多到我超想打人的! 还有那些科目都超级难的, 即使我非常非常专心地听课, 我也不明白老师在说什么...=( 下个月还有考试的耶!! 我都不知道我以前到底是怎么读书的.... 至于中六目前为止最好的是, 我班上的同学都很好相处, 我跟他们相处得很愉快. 我甚至还让他们发现我的"真面目", 糊涂到极点. 没关系啦, 做回自己最重要! =D  而且我班的人都还蛮搞笑的, 也很奇怪.... 哈哈 还有, 我最近多了一个兴趣, 就是去观察别人的感情世界, 有时侯我的直觉还很准呢!! =) 虽然这样好像有点八卦, 但我真的很好奇嘛. 连我班的人也很喜欢聊这样的话题啊, 就当着是为忙碌的生活减压的方法吧!! =D 不过, 虽然说, 表面上, 我真的有在适应现在的生活, 但是在我心里的某一个角落, 总觉得怪怪的.   那个角落总是会让我想起某个人, 某些事, 还有好多好多. 有时侯, 当我在做一件事情的时候, 我都会想起以前跟好朋友也一起做过同样的一件事. 有时侯, 当我在学校一个人到处乱逛的时候, 我又会想起某一人的身影, 或许我应该说, 无论我在哪里, 做些什么, 我都会想起他... 那个人从我的视线消失了很久, 但是他从来没有从我心中离开过. 我以为我好像已经没那么在乎他了, 我甚至认为我的心已经被别人动摇了. 不过, 我知道, 如果他再次出现在我的面前, 我的心或许就不会像现在那么地平静了... 我其实很不想适应某个人不在的生活, 但是现实告诉我不能一直活在过去, 我必须努力的向前迈进才对... 所以, 把他藏在心底的最深处就好, 谁都不会再来动摇我的心了.... 这样就好. 我会一直等待再次见面的那一天的.... =)

Do you know who's the man I love the most on earth?? =D Jeng jeng!! Is my super leng zai awesome DAD!! =D Today is a very very very special day! Because today is my Dad's Big Day! Happy Birthday, Daddy!! <3 My dad is the Best daddy on earth, He pampered me since I was a baby( not too over la), He will try his best to give anything I need. He knows what's my favourite food and when I mention about the food I'm craving for, he will buy the food on the next day. Although this is just a tiny little thing, but I know that's the y way my dad shows his love to us. He willing to sacrifice everything for us, he will do anything just for our own good. He is the super Dad that knows how to fix every single thing in my home, just like my mom knows everything that is kept in my home.. They are just awesome!! =D  Anyway, I wished my Papa will stay healthy and happy always!! =) I Love My DAD!!! =D p.s  Daddy, I feel so sorry for the scratches on your ca...

Do you know the difference between the students who took Stpm in college and government school? The student who takes stpm in college will be treated like a Pre- U student, whereas the student who takes stpm in government school will be treated like a form 6 student. Can you see the difference? LOL Anyway, is the fact that Stpm is not easy, although they change the system, it's still not easy. The only benefit is that we don't have to memorize 36 chapters for each of the 4 subjects we take, that's all! The school reopened yesterday, the first day of school was not that bad after all, I managed to chat more with my classmates, they are extremely friendly, just for your information. I could sense the difference, before and after holiday, it's a good start anyway, I hope. But I don't know why, I got mixed feelings in my heart for the whole day, but I can't find a word to describe the feelings I had. I felt so empty. Is like, everything seems so not right and ...

Hmm, can't think of any title for my post today, I just simply want to blog something I guess...Like A Boss! Haha... Okay I'm seriously out of my mind, I can't help being so random.. Before I start blogging, the first thing that came into my mind was the complaints about my school. I had a lot of stories to share, I got a lot of complaints to tell, but I gave up on writing that because I knew that is no point complaining so much, it won't change anything. Probably I would feel better after pouring them out, but I think every friend of mine has already heard about the stories from me, so..... That's all then...=) I shall continue the stories in my muet journal book later...LOL Despite the pathetic school rules, kokurikulum activities and lack of sophisticated infrastructures and facilities, all I can say is, I will learn to be independent and adaptable in new environment in my school, I have no other choices than that right? I have to continue my life as a "...

我其实很努力了, 努力地去适应新环境, 努力地去熟悉一个完全陌生的环境, 努力地去认识新朋友, 努力地去接受这样的新生活, 努力地告诉自己我必须改变, 必须努力地加油... 毕竟现在的生活比我想像的要辛苦很多... 有人说, 一个人在拥有的时候会不断地埋怨, 等到失去的时候, 即将有新的开始的时候, 就会开始怀念过去所拥有的. 或许, 我是这样的人吧... 以前放半年假的时候, 希望可以去做一些有意义的事情,可是现在开学了, 我却每天迫不及待想要回家睡觉... 如果可以的话, 我也不想埋怨, 可是学校的状态实在是让我没有办法不埋怨, 我现在不想多说些什么, 因为实在是太多了. 我最近也很忙, 功课多到我根本没时间开电脑, 课程难到我上课时头脑都在打结, 待在学校也觉得很闷... 也因为这样, 我最近老是发脾气, 有原因也好, 没理由也罢, 我的心情就是没办法好起来. 开学到现在, 我没有一天是轻松的, 也没有一天是真正开心的, 我变得很不像原本的自己. 对于我现在的生活, 我是希望可以变得更好, 我很想变得活泼一点, 开朗一点, 至少可以认识多一些人... 不过, 我累了, 我好像在我的心房外筑了一道墙, 任谁都没有办法靠近. 或许, 我需要的, 是一些时间吧, 我需要时间去接受, 去适应. 下星期就放假了, 我就好好利用那两星期的时间去沉淀吧, 之后应该就会好一些了吧. 我先去睡觉了, 先不想那么多了...=)

Happy Labour Day!!! =) Although I'm not a worker, but I'm still happy about it because it's a public holiday! Today is the first day of May, nothing special happened. Well, but I did went to Loudspeaker with my parents and finally I found and sang my favourite song, if you know which song i'm talking about. =D Few days ago, I received the form 6 offer letter. After stoning at home for nearly 5 months, I gonna start my school life again soon. Not college, but School. :s Thanks to my procrastination and hesitation, I sent the scholarship application for taylors foundation only, and they rejected me T.T.  Plus most of the scholarships reached the deadlines or they didn't offer full scholarships. And because I couldn't make up my mind on picking courses, my parents suggested me to go form 6 since STPM will take two years time and of course Save Money... For your info, I'm not rich people!!! Sigh. Stpm is not that bad, it's just that I feel so lonely beca...