My Secret Story...

Well, actually, there's nothing much to update or blog because my life is plainly lifeless nowadays since I'm rotting at home every single day now. But, I just feel like writing something, or maybe typing. Just anything will do.  Due to some really "ridiculous" reasons, I turned away an opportunity to earn extra pocket money and a chance to work as a part timer. Because of that, I lost my passion on finding a part time job and I shall just slack until CNY is over. YAY~  So, I ended up spending my first half of January by being a potato at home. Everyday online until late night, wake up at almost 11 in the morning, have brunch or just skip breakfast, drama marathon, runningman marathon and most of the time, Daydreaming. My body clock is still so not normal. I'm really lifeless now, or maybe I should say I choose to be lifeless? Or run away from reality? I've started to hate myself for being that way. And yeah, just hate but not doing anything to...

Yeah, random or perhaps, Unproductive. Meant to be a potato now. Just like what I usually do when I stay at home all the time, I tend to think a lot, like A LOT. Yeap, think ONLY. Can't stand myself for procrastinating and run away from reality, like 'I should start doing that tomorrow'. And then the tomorrow seems to take forever to come. Sigh. I'm such a Potato. Anyway, while enjoying my time by slacking every minute I had, I did read some articles online. And recently, I found one article quite interesting : "Accepting who you are and learning to love being alone are Essential to a happy life". Take a look if you saw those links shared. =) "Putting trust into a person and giving them your dedication is one of the scariest things in life. Devoting your time and emotions, revealing your most personal qualities and background, and believing that this one person will not betray you or shame you for any of it, is a courageous step to take." - K...

I'm very troublesome right? Always give troubles to people around me and bring them into troubles. I shouldn't have ask for so much, isn't it? I shouldn't be that greedy, isn't it? Being a friend of mine must be really tiring right? All those pressures and troubles I brought. Need to tolerate this troublesome and emotional woman here. I'm sorry for nagging around all the time. I'm sorry for being so troublesome all the time. I'm sorry that you have done so many things for me but I couldn't even do anything for you. I'm sorry that you have to tolerate with me with all those excuses and reasons I gave. I know it's annoying, really annoying. And sometimes, Irritating. I'm sorry for asking for more and being greedy. I'm sorry for letting you down after giving too much hopes. I'm sorry if I let you feel bad because of me, myself feeling bad. I'm really sorry, but still, thank you for being my friend even...

原来, 第十四年, 还是有可能的... 一个笑容, 一张照片, 就可以很轻易地让我回到原点. 不算是朋友这个事实, 原来还是让人觉得难过. 突然好希望, 如果当初不要喜欢, 不要被发现就好了. 至少, 结果就不会是这样了. 就像在梦里的一样, 彼此是好久不见的老同学, 自然的对话, 自然的笑容. 只当很好的旧同学, 该有多好.

Yeah, now is the time to plan some resolutions to be achieved in 2014... =) 1. Lose fats and weight - I know, I say this every year but still have not reach my target, not even close. Haha But at least I had started my plan last month. So, all I need is Determination. =D 2. Sleep early and reset my body clock - thanks to stpm, I used to burn midnight oil every single day for the past 1.5 years. (but mostly online.. LOL) My dark eye circles are getting way too obvious and my eye bags are getting bigger. 3. Discover my interest and decide the course to take for degree ASAP - I should have discovered that years ago but yeah I'm a late minute tasker.  4. Secure a scholarship - Research has to be done and actions MUST be taken promptly this year. Regretted for the hesitation last year. Opps, it was 2 years ago. Now I afraid of my stpm result. =/  5. Improve my driving skills - Yeah, seriously, I didn't Touch the car for half of the year. Should start practicing ...