Potato.

Well, actually, there's nothing much to update or blog because my life is plainly lifeless nowadays since I'm rotting at home every single day now. But, I just feel like writing something, or maybe typing. Just anything will do. 

Due to some really "ridiculous" reasons, I turned away an opportunity to earn extra pocket money and a chance to work as a part timer. Because of that, I lost my passion on finding a part time job and I shall just slack until CNY is over. YAY~ 

So, I ended up spending my first half of January by being a potato at home. Everyday online until late night, wake up at almost 11 in the morning, have brunch or just skip breakfast, drama marathon, runningman marathon and most of the time, Daydreaming. My body clock is still so not normal. I'm really lifeless now, or maybe I should say I choose to be lifeless? Or run away from reality? I've started to hate myself for being that way. And yeah, just hate but not doing anything to change it yet. =/ I don't feel like doing anything, I would just sit there doing nothing for the whole day, my productivity has reached an extremely low level that I'm so lazy to catch up my favourite drama. =/ Well, at least I still help to do some chores at home.

Then, talk about my research. I have been doing some research on scholarships, universities and courses online. Maybe it's because I'm lack of enthusiasm or something, I just glance everything once, jot down some deadlines and read some articles about the difference between courses, then I'm done with my so called 'research' for that moment. I guess the Biggest Problem why am I acting like that is because I don't even know what I want!!! *Bang wall* I seem to be interested in everything and also lose interest in everything. What a contradiction. Science or Art? Business or Pharmacy? I'm sesat. =.= What do I really like? What do I really wanna do? What really suits me? I even do a career test for it. And I still don't get an answer. Oh gosh why?

I'm lost, totally lost. I'm not sure whether I'm trying to go further to lose my mind in the forest or trying hard to find a way out. No one could help me, except myself. How I wish my brain is a light bulb, just a "blink" and I get the idea of what I want. Sigh.

And yet, I'm still spending my time updating my blog instead of thinking my future. Yeah, Just slap me. T.T

Gonna brace myself with all those  'Why are you not working' 'What do you wanna study' 'What's your future plan' that are going to bombard me during cny. (Y)

I need Fresh Air.