Care. Less.

Just a little quick update before I go to bed. =)

My house wifi line has been really bad recently and it frustrates me because I finished my broadband data and I need to wait another 3 days to enjoy fast speed line again. Sigh. That also demotivates me for starting another new drama too. LOL 

Back to the topic.

9 more working days to go to end my internship and my final internship grade would be out on the last day of the month. Time does fly eh. Feeling the gan cheong ness right now. 

If you were to ask me what have I learnt throughout my whole internship, one of them shall be Eating Meals Alone. HAHAHA

As a typical Libra, being sociable should be a natural trait to me. Well, I hate to admit but yeah, I'm quite socially awkward though. Am an extrovert kind of introvert perhaps?

In a group setting, I used to be the one who talks a lot, initiates topics but at the same time I am a good conversation ender too. LOL I tried so hard because I know if I choose to be quiet, I am actually equivalent to a transparent glass at a side. Some sort of failed attention seeker I supposed? 

Thanks to internship, I learned to listen more. I don't usually talk in office or during team lunch. I listened to stories. I don't ask for more details unless it's job relevant. I don't initiate topic to talk to my colleagues. Silence is better than awkward silence after. 

Having lunch alone wasn't a thing to me back in uni era. I do enjoy having meals alone at my house or in my room, but not in public. Thanks to my team culture, we settled our own lunch most of the time, sometimes I had lunch with my colleagues, and sometimes we have team lunch together, but it was only 3 times, and I thanks God for the only 3 times. 

Perhaps it was just me giving myself unnecessary stress, but yeah faking a smile and keeping the table manners are tiring. I begin to enjoy and even prefer to have lunch by my own. Flexible and less awkward times. At the same time, learn to care less. 

Who actually cares if I am having my lunch alone and owning the whole table by myself right? Many people did the same too. I wasn't the only loner anyway. 

I used to care a lot on how people think about me, who am I as a person to them. I am a very sensitive person, I care about how other people feel and think too. In better terms, I am just being observant and the information center. To be frank, I might just simply a pro stalker or being extremely annoying. I'm good at guessing feelings and interpreting emotions. I know too much, care too much and think too much. 

Until it hurts. Reality hurts. 

I know I need to learn to stop wondering so much, asking so much and thinking so much. I need to care less. I should stop interpreting one's minds and actions. I need to care less. 

If only being able to care less is as easy as me being careless. LOL

I just want to care less about you from now on. I will be fine. 

What a messy post, didn't get to express the feelings well, not really sure what was I trying to say to, but still, good night everyone! =)