My Secret Story...

Next Monday is my MUET SPEAKING TEST.... *SCREAMSSSSS I'm never good at speaking... Just there's a little bit of improvements since we practiced quite often recently... I used to get mental blocks when I'm nervous, or when I actually think of some points, if I don't jot it down or speak it out, I would just eventually forget what I want to say... TOUCHWOOD*** I'm so not gonna let this happen to me on the day!!! I would probably use all those limited vocabulary that I have learnt since primary.... >.< Or start speaking non-stop from now on... And read all my muet exercise and reference books.. Plus practise a lot more like a mad person for the last 2 days... Last minute work! YOLO Miracle is another name of hardwork! So, I'll try my best to make miracles happen then... Gonna use up the 2 minutes for task A and conclude the discussion nicely for task B... YES! Start working on it... =)

There will be someday..... I will wake up from my fairy tale.... I will wake up from the dreams that I really missed... I will move on, from where I have lost... I will treasure my old times and keep them deep and far away from my heart.. I will keep and left my memories behind until it's the time for throwback... I will keep away my tears and smile as wide as I could... I will forget the pain and wounds that were once hurt me till I could barely breathe... I will be fine again and fill my life with different colours... I will learn to be not that dependent on someone, emotionally and physically... I will find my way, my path and my future... I will find out what I really want to be... I will grow up and face the reality... And, there will be someday, I will take a step forward and move on... Wishing you all the best and to myself... We will find our way, a better future and a better life... Under the same sky? even though if we are far apart from each other... ...

两年了, 距离同样的事情发生过的那段时间, 已经有两年了... 为什么要在两年后, 又再次伤害我呢? 自从毕业以后, 我自问从来没有烦过 , 也不敢再烦你... 最多也只是在你生日的时候, 发短讯给你而已... 就只是怕你会离我越来越远... 可是, 你却毫无预警地把我唯一能够关心你的机会给剥夺了, 我什么都没做, 不是吗? 我只是静静地, 远远地, 想要了解你的近况而已... 这样有错吗? 像隐形般, 空气般的存在, 也让你不舒服吗? 我就那么令你讨厌吗? 如果这是你想要的, 我宁愿你从一开始就对我残忍... 你为什么要给我希望, 却又让我失望呢? 不对, 应该说, 你为什么要突然这么做, 你为什么要那么地自私呢? 你不喜欢我就算了, 为什么还要阻止我关心我想关心的人的权利呢? 我真的不明白, 也不知道.... 为什么你要在现在, 再次地, 狠狠地, 对我那样... 你明明就主动跟我道歉, 也说过不想再伤害我, 不是吗? 那代表着, 你并不讨厌我, 不是吗? 你至少告诉我你那么做的理由啊! 就算要我死心, 也要有个道理吧? 为什么要让我变成一个傻瓜? 我不想哭, 也不认为自己会哭... 因为我对你的感觉, 应该已经慢慢淡化才对... 我以为我只是在强迫自己变得难过... 可是为什么, 当我强忍着停留在眼角的泪, 不要让它流下来的时候; 却又会因为朋友一个安慰的动作, 彻底崩溃呢? 我想要躲起来的, 却又找不到可以让我放声哭泣的角落... 我想要告诉他们, 我没事, 只是眼睛进沙而已, 却让自己哭红了的鼻子, 出卖了自己... 我看起来, 是多么地可笑, 多么地可悲....  我不想自己在他们眼里, 变成那么脆弱的人... 可是, 我真的没有办法控制自己的情绪... 还让大家知道, 我是为了多么可笑的原因而掉下了眼泪... 他们很努力地安慰我, 逗我笑, 我真的很感动... 可是, 每当我一想起你, 我的心就好痛好痛... 一直到现在... 我知道我真的很傻, 很傻, 但是我真的很想知道你为什么要这么做... 再过不久, 你就要到外国去了, 要去离我很远很远的地方... 你还怕我会烦你吗? 我已经没办法像以前那样, 一直看着你了我是多么地希望能够听到你对我说出你真实的想法... 心,真的很痛, 很痛..... 眼泪又快要藏...

I should have update my blog on that day, but I was too tired and busy after the school reopens... You know what my school did on the first day of school? They asked the lecturers from universities to give a talk on Stress Management! And guess what, I was even more STRESSED after all those speeches... =.= Thanks to the teachers and assignments that are awaiting for me... T.T Anyway, I ended my sem break with a beautiful full stop! =) I had a very great and awesome night with my girls! =D Wei Yi, Emily, May Yi, Zhi Chin and Jeannie! <3 Missed them like mad and finally managed to have a reunion with them! =D Not to forget the little junior, Lip Poh a.k.a Cameraman... haha The Ferris wheel in Pyramid! It's become a memorable place and a signature for our Reunion! =D  Feel so good for having such lifetime sampat POs ... <3 2 years ago... how time passes...  Same place, same people, same memories.... <3 It was kinda dramatic when I was on the way meet...

Guessing what's my talent har? Hahahahaha *Fake laugh Nothing much, I realized I'm seriously not good at anything but these:  Bringing troubles, Making troubles, Being troublesome, Being annoying, Being careless, Being clumsy, Being stupid, Breaking fragile things, Breaking hard things, Banging my head, arms, fingers, toes, legs and my whole body to the wall, tables, chairs, cupboard and fire extinguisher.... Ouch for the those walls and things I banged.... :/  I'm so TALENTED right? And there's nothing to proud of! T.T And guess what, yesterday, I almost spoil....my .... camera..... *Gasp.... T.T Thanks god it's still functioning, but it is cacat now.... because I broke one of the part.... T.T  I was so doomed.... Scolded by my mom with all those hurtful words and my dad had to fix it for me... </3 I felt so hurt but I couldn't say a word because I'm not innocent and It's definitely my fault this time.... T.T Feel so sorry for my ...