Dilemma.

Finally I'm in the last semester and my uni has never fail to disappoint me since the first semester. 

Am trying hard to find a reason to love my uni like other people, but I just couldn't find one. Urgh.

We were taught to appreciate what we have, yeah but it just happened that everything there just frustrates me and I couldn't feel thankful at all for now.

Perhaps the best surviving skill that my uni has taught me is the snatching skill. Basically, to survive there, you gotta snatch everything to get what you desire, or just to get the best from the worst. 

And this time, they decided to announce our exam result after the first day of timetable registration, causing chaos and dramas among the students. AND THEY WILL NOT UNDERSTAND HOW ONE SECOND CAN DECIDE YOUR WHOLE SEMESTER.

And my unlucky 6th sense has turned into reality. T.T 

When I first entering my uni, my only hopes and expectations left to my course are to learn Korean Language and to major in Finance. 

And then, they disappointed me by taking all the language courses away and we were only allowed to take those subjects that we were not interested to. Damn.

Then, my only hope left is to major in Finance. Everything went on quite smooth and I actually had a bad feeling that the last 2 finance subjects I want might clash with the core subjects that are compulsory for me to take in the final semester. 

MY GOD, I should have never thought of it because I realized whenever I thought of the worst situation, it ended up happening to me. Walao, how I wish my good sixth sense will come true instead. 

Actually I was lucky enough for the past few semesters because I didn't really have any major issues on my timetable, unlike other coursemates who had to run to the lecturers and offices to ask for capacity and so on. Until the previous semester. Urgh. 

I have the most messed up timetable this time. I couldn't make a decision on what electives to take for this semester and I have never been so last minute in arranging my timetable. I was in a serious dilemma and I'm still having it now. T.T I guess most of my friends have already listened to my stories and they couldn't help me much because in the end they will say: Follow your heart and you will know what you really want. Yeah but hey, I'm sorry to be so annoying but if I know what I want I wouldn't be so fed up. T.T Thanks for listening though. 

I still couldn't choose between the limited choices left. 

First of all, to major in Finance. In order to major, I have to take at least 5 finance subjects among 9 electives that I'm required to fulfill. I've done 3 out of 5 and I just need 2 more to success in majoring. It just so happened that the two Finance courses that I wanted to take so badly, International Finance and Treasury Management have clashed with my 2 core courses that I must take in order to graduate. I have no choice but to give up on them because it is nearly impossible to change the lecture slots because of me alone. Then I was left with Investment and Islamic Finance. Investment would be taught by our famous killer lecturer and I have no choice (again) but to take it since I wanted to major so badly and I don't mind being tortured by a killer lecturer who is indeed very knowledgeable and experienced, except the fact of her level 99 pattern-ness. Then, Islamic Finance, well I will not say the reason but it is my most unwanted subject among the finance courses offered and it is the only one left that could fit my timetable besides Investment. MY GOD T.T If I want to major, I will need to take it because the other 2 that I wanted the most could not fit in to my timetable. 

So here comes the first dilemma, I wanted to major so badly and it's not that I don't have the chance to major, it just that I don't want to take Islamic Finance. I just don't want to. But if I don't take it, it means that I'm giving up my only hope to major, which it is my target since the first day I entered this course. If I take it, I know I could handle this, but I'm actually forcing myself to take something I'm very not interested to and I would rather take Global Marketing as elective instead.T.T 

I have no idea which decision is right one, because it feels like all my effort in majoring would be wasted (even though my cert wouldn't show if I got to major) if I choose Global Marketing and at the other side, I wouldn't be happy if I have to take Islamic Finance for the sake of majoring since I wouldn't go into that field in future for sure. I don't know which would be better for me. T.T And now that I have already dropped Islamic Finance, I'm not sure if I have already made the correct choice and I'm already giving up my majoring dream. T.T 

Then the second dilemma, external elective. There are 2 choices for me now, Social Gerontology and East Asian Modernization Process. East Asian is actually my first choice for external elective and I want it so badly is because the lecturer is a Korean, well at least it will mentally compensate my dream of learning Korean language by going to a class taught by a Korean lecturer I supposed. And I would prefer it because it is taught in English unlike Social Gerontology. This subject itself is quite acceptable, since it is about learning the process of aging and the fieldwork seems interesting as we might get to visit the old folks home. But the lecturer decided to teach in class in dual language and what worries me is because she mentioned that if there is no international student and majority prefer to have exam in Malay language, we might ended up having it in Malay. Urgh. Not to mention that this class is a Monday 8am class, what a pain man. 

But again, it leaves me no choice. Because of Investment. T.T Because the tutorial classes offered either clash with Global Marketing or East Asian. If I ended up taking Investment and GM, I will have to give up East Asian. 

If I managed to solve the International Finance course issue (if the office allows me to register manually and the coursemates agree to change the lecture slots), I might ended up majoring in success (since I would give up on GM) and take up the external elective I prefer. But this is extremely troublesome and low in possibility. T.T Not to mention about having 3 exam papers on the same day yet (since Investment, IF and East Asian have the same exam date). 

Argh headache. Actually my problem would be solved easily if I compromise with myself by taking Islamic Finance and I would both success in majoring and taking up my desired external electives subject without clashes on exam date and tutorials. BUT I JUST DONT WANT TO TAKE THAT SUBJECT. WHY YOU DO THIS TO ME? WHYYYYYYY? T.T 

Because of this I might just ended up not majoring and not getting the external elective I want. T.T But I don't want to force myself to take that one subject that I don't want so badly. 

I hope there is someone who could tell me what to do or to let me know what I really want.

I guess I'm in such a huge dilemma and depressed emotions is because I'm afraid that I would have make a wrong choice or decision. T.T I don't want any more regrets. 

I wanted an easy semester but it feels like I'm giving myself unnecessary problems. But I really don't want to. T.T WHY YOU DO THIS TO ME UM? WHYYYYYY? 

I need an answer to myself this week. T.T Please tell me I would make a right decision in the end. T.T