To Have No Regrets

After enjoying my long lost holiday at home and being a potato for 2 months, I guess I'm having a Potato Crisis now. 

Stepping into April and starting to feel the peer pressure of not getting a job and paying for my living. I have finally taking my steps in sending out resume to some companies, okay to be honest just three for now because I have no idea which company should I apply and those that I wanted are not offering any vacancy yet. =( 

Kinda lost right now. 

Now I really pray hard that I could get a job before my convocation man. 

So there was this one midnight that I sent out my resume to a company without thinking further. And I received a call on the next day without having myself prepared. (*Insert heavy storms sound effect) It was really unexpected and I did quite bad on the phone. 

Anyway, I guess their efficiency reflects the number of vacancies available and here comes one of the biggest decision making times. OMG 

AM SO NOT READY FOR ANYTHING YET. 

My communication and phone calling skills are getting so rusted and my brain is so empty, so called not knowledgeable enough. 

I was so motivated to step out of my comfort zone 2 months ago, but when time goes by, there are more and more things and issues to be worried and considered, and my old bad habit reoccurs. 

When opportunity hits in, I always put myself into a dilemma. Just like I made my decision to go Taiwan for summer exchange 2 years ago, I had been thinking a lot when I was offered with that opportunity. Worried that if it was worth it for the price, whether I have made the right move. 

Similar to that, I'm stuck with the same mindset and worries again. Right at this moment. 

I'm not confident nor courageous enough, just like a strawberry in a greenhouse. Worried that if the job is what I want, worried that if I could handle everything by myself, worried that whether it would be a waste if I reject the offer, worried that if I would be given another chance again in the future, worried that if this kind of life is really what I want, worried that whether I would regret for the decision I make or this whole trip would be worth for the price. 

I am afraid of making decision, I am afraid that I might make the wrong decision. I don't want to make the wrong decision, I don't want to regret. 

I need a lot a lot of motivation and support. I need someone to tell me that no matter what I do or decide in the end, it would be worth it. It is worth for a try. It is the experience that matters. It is worth it with no regrets. I can handle it when it comes. 

Please tell me that it's okay to give it a try. I hope I could know what I really want.