The choice made.

It has been a very busy month ever since I started my new job. T.T

Even though I have made myself to set a low expectation to the new environment, it was way more hectic than I expected, especially the workload. 

Never had I ever worked that much of overtime in all my previous jobs... An average of 12 working hours daily is just crazy. 

While I'm trying so hard to adapt to the new environment, it has been so lonely and helpless. I can't help being lost and paranoid all the time, when they expected the newbie to master everything by themselves, hoping everyone to be genius yet the workflows are so confusing and not structured enough. 

I always believe that working overtime is always an option and it's a matter of work efficiency. That's why work life balance was always my priority. But that is not the case here. I kept finding ways to work efficiently, I asked for opinions and advices to make sure I didn't not make mistakes, but the workload seems to be endless. T.T

Insecurities hit so hard and again I'm so worried about my performance because the QA works on newbies as well. 

But I really did tried my best, and I'm still trying to make things clear and better. 

Can't imagine how would I be after another2 months and how I would survive through these mess and crazy workload. 

Again, I can only hope for the best and do my best. May the luck be with me. *Fingers crossed*