A little bit better but still...

After sending the scholarship application letter, it was a big relief.

It's like, I finally done something BIG. (yeah, I'm exaggerating)

Then, my brain stops thinking about the courses and the fact that I have problem choosing my future. 

Yeah, so, whatever. I'm still depressed in a way, just it is not so mind-killing now. 

I'm trying to convince myself that I would be fine when the day comes. 

I have no choice but to face my problem, by myself. 

No one is responsible to my own sadness, except myself. 

Yeah, learning to face my problem alone is not that hard, right?

Rainy day made the floor wet and the feeling of fear became stronger than my first visit. 

Hmmm, I'm okay to stand by myself, I guess. 

I know I talk a lot, like A LOT of craps. But I know I'm not good at expressing the true feelings. I know. The insecurity is too strong and it suffocates me. Like now. Not like I couldn't find a good listener, just it's not easy to find a listener who could understand my language. =/ 

Just a random update because I feel like typing something, nothing much. So, don't bother this messy pointless post. =)