I. CAN'T. PUT. MYSELF. INTO. WORDS.
Yeah, this is exactly how I felt when I got the uni result. I've succeeded to secure myself a place in my first choice government uni, University Malaya. They even offered me the business course I asked for. WOW, Lucky me right?
When I told my mum about the result, she actually called all the relatives to shared the news. Yeah, I'm not exaggerating. I guess she's happy that I got UM....
And receiving congratulations from family and friends made me overwhelmed with guiltiness.
It's not right for me to not feel happy. It's not right to feel regret for the choice I made. It's not right to say I don't really want to go.
T.T
It's even not right if I say I feel like crying.
It's a complicated feeling. I got my first choice and I should feel happy about it but I don't really feel that way. That feeling got even worse when they say business admin is a general course, I should master something more specific. But I couldn't think of a better option. My back up plans are either Business in Sunway or Food Science in Utar. Yeah, food science, since I don't really like science but I like food. But they told my the degree for food science is useless in this country. So yeah.
I think I'm lucky because I used my result to pick a business course instead of science, perhaps if I were like others that pick science as first choice, I won't be able to get into UM.
I hate myself for that. I was wishing to go private for my own reasons, but reality made me to go for government uni. I'm from a middle-income family, I couldn't afford high tuition fees, and I shouldn't increase my family's expenses.
I'm afraid, I have no confidence that I won't regret. But I don't want to turn my parents' hope down. I don't want to disappoint them. I don't dare to tell anyone how I really feel. I have no rights to regret the decision I made. I need to accept it. I'm already very lucky.
Sorry for not feeling 100% happy about the result. Let me run away from reality one more day please.
Yeah, this is exactly how I felt when I got the uni result. I've succeeded to secure myself a place in my first choice government uni, University Malaya. They even offered me the business course I asked for. WOW, Lucky me right?
When I told my mum about the result, she actually called all the relatives to shared the news. Yeah, I'm not exaggerating. I guess she's happy that I got UM....
And receiving congratulations from family and friends made me overwhelmed with guiltiness.
It's not right for me to not feel happy. It's not right to feel regret for the choice I made. It's not right to say I don't really want to go.
T.T
It's even not right if I say I feel like crying.
It's a complicated feeling. I got my first choice and I should feel happy about it but I don't really feel that way. That feeling got even worse when they say business admin is a general course, I should master something more specific. But I couldn't think of a better option. My back up plans are either Business in Sunway or Food Science in Utar. Yeah, food science, since I don't really like science but I like food. But they told my the degree for food science is useless in this country. So yeah.
I think I'm lucky because I used my result to pick a business course instead of science, perhaps if I were like others that pick science as first choice, I won't be able to get into UM.
I hate myself for that. I was wishing to go private for my own reasons, but reality made me to go for government uni. I'm from a middle-income family, I couldn't afford high tuition fees, and I shouldn't increase my family's expenses.
I'm afraid, I have no confidence that I won't regret. But I don't want to turn my parents' hope down. I don't want to disappoint them. I don't dare to tell anyone how I really feel. I have no rights to regret the decision I made. I need to accept it. I'm already very lucky.
Sorry for not feeling 100% happy about the result. Let me run away from reality one more day please.
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